Losing Grip
by ASinkingShip
Summary: It only took one gunshot. Spencer Reid had gotten through a lot in his thirty one years of existence, he'd been shot, kidnapped, you name it. His team at the BAU just got used to the fact he always bounced back to peak health. But while on a case, one gunshot was all it took for them to realize that they might lose their youngest member, once and for all.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One.**

"**This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang, but with a whimper."-T.S. Elliott.**

"Joseph, put the gun down."

Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner had a tone that would cause the toughest man to shiver to his core. The gun in his hand was held firm and straight at the man in front of him, causing the shaking man in the flannel shirt to think about what he was doing and why he was in this position. His eyes quickly filled with hesitation, allowing Aaron to take a cautionary step forward, yet as soon as the hesitation appeared, it vanished and faded.

Joseph Greene had always been the shady one. Never sociable, never involved, he kept to himself. He believed in a delusion that he chosen by God to kill Satan's army, to crush the rebellion. He had murdered seven people thinking that they spoke against the Lord, and now the FBI had cornered him.

"Joseph, put the gun down and come with us," Spencer Reid's voice was much softer and more welcoming that Aaron's but the underlying tone of demand was similar. His voice was etched with intelligence, which was shown in his dark eyes. His features were much less stress ridden than those of his co-workers and he was incredibly handsome. In his mind, he was comparing their profile to the UnSub, a loner, defensive, unsure and delusional.

"And why would I do that? So you can kill me? You'll send me to Hell, you're demons, sent from Satan to capture me for killing his army," his paranoid voice stuttered, he was panicking.

"We are not demons, we're men. Ordinary humans, like you," Spencer stated, his guns steadiness matching that of his fellow agents.

"I am not an ordinary human, I am a prophet of the Lord and you are demons!" In his hand, the gun stopped shaking and became steady. Things were becoming increasingly dangerous, the barrel of the revolver now pointed at Aaron. They weren't wearing bulletproof vests, this fact made a lump rise in Spencer's throat. They thought that Joseph was just a witness, and this had happened to Spencer before. Last time, he ended up being kidnapped and developing a drug addiction, these situations never ended well.

A loud bang, intruded his stream of thoughts as he turned to look at his team member. _Hotch has been shot!_ He thought in horror. But, to his surprise, Aaron mirrored his expression, there wasn't a wound on his body. Then it hit him. Like a train travelling one hundred miles per hour. He had only experienced something close to this pain once before, and that's when he was shot in the knee. But this time was worse, much worse. Sliding to the ground, he clutched just under his ribs, his hands covered in blood. Noises became incoherent and muffled. He heard what sounded like a shot from a gun from about a mile away but in reality came from right beside him. Out of the side of his eye, he could make out the blurred silhouette of Aaron Hotchner. He was speaking, but it sounded like Spencer was under water and Aaron was shouting,"It's going to be okay-just, just stay with me." But unable to focus, Spencer blacked out.

Pulling out his cell phone, he hurriedly rang 911. "This is Special Agent Aaron Hotchner, I need an ambulance. Shots have been fired and a federal agent is down." Hanging up, he didn't even mention that the UnSub had been shot in the leg. He didn't care that he could get in trouble for doing that his main focus was Spencer. "Oi, hey, why didn't you tell them I'm hurt?" Joseph seethed in pain.

Picking up his gun, he turned to Joseph,"If you don't be quiet I'll shoot you again!" Moving his attention back to Spencer, he applied pressure onto his wounds. He was hopeless. Ringing the team, he demanded they come and collect the UnSub, not mentioning that Spencer had been shot. They would find out when they arrived at the hospital with Joseph, he just wanted the ambulance to arrive quickly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"**There's no way to tell you that bad news without saying it, so I'll say it with body language,"-John** **Kintz.**

Leaning on the counter of the reception desk, Derek Morgan flashed the young doctor, he had just explained that the Police would accompany Joseph Greene until the Doctor's fixed him up and then he would be taken away. Tapping the counter before heading back to his team, he couldn't help but smile to himself. Being a profiler, he was trained to pick up on the little things no one else would have, like the way the doctor's eyes kept looking him up and down and the almost starstruck look she got when he spoke. It was a handy thing to have, especially when it comes to women.

Seeing David Rossi and Jennifer Jareau shake hands with the local Police chief, he mentally thanked all forces that worked to end this case. It had been a long, never ending one with a lot of disappointment and no leads. All they had to do now was to finish up some paperwork, pack up their stuff, find Hotch and Reid and go home.

As soon as the Police chief left, he asked the question everyone had been thinking, "Where is Hotch and Reid?" Taking in their faces of sudden realisation, he noted they didn't know, it was rare for their team. They usually kept quite a close tab on one another. Watching JJ take out her mobile, they waited for her to call Hotch but her face was drawn to something else on the other side of the room.

Following her gaze, David and Derek's eyes widened with an unexpected sight and instant worry. Standing by the elevators staring at the team was Aaron Hotchner. His plain blue shirt was covered in blood and his eyes held the type of blankness only the shock of a terrible event could prompt. Beckoning them over, the team quickly ushered to his side through the crowded reception area. Without saying anything, he stepped into the elevator, waiting on his team to follow him, which they did. They rode in silence, up three floors and then down an array of corridors, by following the signs the team automatically guessed where they were headed, Intensive Care.

Breaking the silence, Jennifer spoke up, "Hotch? Where's Reid?"

Aaron didn't say anything but rather, opened the door to a small waiting room and motioned for them all to sit.

As they sat, Aaron started to explain what was going on, "As you know, Spencer and myself went to speak to Joseph Greene, someone we originally concluded was a witness but he turned out to be the UnSub and of course, Spencer noticed this and we cornered him. We tried to talk him down...But he shot. And Spencer was hit."

All three members of the BAU team snapped their heads up in shock. "He isn't...He isn't?" JJ stuttered in a panicked tone.

"He isn't dead, but he's close. He lost a lot of blood and the bullet is lodged in a very compromising position, their preparing him for surgery right now, but the doctor told me, that we need to come to terms with the fact that he may not make it," Hotch para-phrased. His voice that usually oozed authority was tired and broken. He was fed up of ending up in a hospital with Reid, it was always him. He was trying to get his team to understand that this might be the last time they end up in a hospital because of Reid. They could lose him. Forever.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

**"Hello, hello, is there anybody out there? Cause I don't hear a sound. Alone, alone, I don't really know where the world is, but I miss it now. I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name like a fool at the top of my lungs. Sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright but it's never enough." -Echo by Jason Walker.**

The atmosphere in the waiting room was one of intense anguish, they all wanted to say something to make the waiting better. But no one had the right words. Spencer Reid was dying, and none of them could do anything about it.

Jennifer Jareau was usually the mother of these situations, the bearer of good news and sometimes of bad news. She was the comfort amongst this family of agents. She wanted to embrace them all, remind them that he would be okay because Spence was always okay, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Her arms felt like led as she stared into space thinking about nothing and everything at the same time. Her best friend, a man who was essentially a brother, was bleeding out while doctors tried to save him. The thought brought tears of worry to her eyes. She couldn't lose him.

Derek Morgan was clutching Penelope Garcia's hand, who had arrived as soon as she could to support her junior G-Man, as if she was his anchor to reality. To onlookers, it would appear although he was holding it to comfort her, but in actual fact, it was for him as much as her. And she understood, never moving his hand away, she just simply let her peroxide blonde head fall on his shoulder while they waited.

Aaron Hotchner stood by the door, ready to pounce if a doctor came in to tell them any news. He wanted to be the leader, be the one to confirm the belief that their team mate would be okay. This was no Emily situation were he knew that in the long run, Spencer would be okay. He had no proof and not a lot of hope. This time was serious.

In the end, it was David Rossi who broke the tenseness in the room, his wise voice quipped the team's attention as he said sternly, "Stop, okay? This isn't going to help him. I can tell what you all are thinking, you think he isn't going to make it. But isn't there one thing we've always learnt from that kid? That he will always surprise us? Positive thoughts." His sudden outburst shocked the team. But they agreed by nodding their dumbstruck heads. Rossi stood up and looked at them all, "You all look terrible, I'm going on a coffee run, crappy machine coffee on me," he joked feebly.

Once he was gone, Garcia looked up, her eyes wide and watery, "Do you think he is going to be okay?"

JJ broke out of her numbness and mumbled, "We have too."

Garcia's eyes let out a stray tear, "But what if he isn't? What if we lose him, he's our family. We can't bury another one. Even though-even though last time was fake, we just can't. Our family will be broken, we can't." Derek patted her hand as he whispered a gentle shush baby girl.

While someone was trying to think of the right words to say, the door burst open and a doctor walked in.

Doctor Adrien Harriet was a man in his late forties, he had frown lines around his eyes and he looked like he had been doing his job too long, it had gotten to him. Now, as he sat down in front of this group of people, he tried to think of the correct wording.

"Spencer is definitely a fighter. We brought him in for surgery and he coated, once, but he bounced straight back. But, he did lose a lot of blood and we have to keep him in recovery for a while and he has yet to wake up. But he seems to be stabilising and you can all see him when he wakes up."

As he spoke, the anguish lifted and was replaced with an almost relief. No one said anything for a moment, rather they just took in the news and gathered their thoughts.

_He was alive._

_He was okay._

_He was going to be okay._

Once the doctor left, David returned carrying a tray of coffee, his face apprehensive. He hadn't known what to think when he had seen the careworn doctor leave the waiting room. Walking in, he set down the coffee and turned to see his team with tears in their eyes and smiles on their faces. "So he's okay?" He asked, his heart lifting into his throat while he waited for an answer.

Aaron nodded, a smile stretching across his face, "He's going to be okay."


End file.
